Friday, November 30, 2012

How to create an effective Dialog with desired Outcome

In order to have an effective Conversation and achieve what the so called “Feedback Loop” where Communication flows, it is necessary to have the right mindset. Luckily that mindset only takes little practice and anyone can achieve it.

If you want the conversation to flow and stay constructive, both parties need to assume that what the other one says is right and ask themselves what it could be right of. When I explain to an audience I often get replies such as "I just assume they are right??" or "No matter if I know the person well or not?".  The answer is yes, in order to have free flowing communication with mutual respect, it is necessary to assume the truth in order to establish the trust. Humans a trained to read facial expressions as part of our exchange and if you are feeling judgmental, chances are the other individual is perceiving it.

What has been showing in Western Culture is that most conversations turn negative, controversial or skeptic, because each side assumes what the other one is saying is wrong and is wondering what it could be wrong of. You might have observed similar mindsets in relationship arguments, office disputes or family fights.

What assumptions do you have in conversations? Do you assume what the other person is saying is true or false?

Turn your awareness on and catch yourself if you are in a judgmental mindset, it might just cost you the outcome you desired.

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If you would like to learn more about Feedback Loops and better Communication, I also recommend the classic "The gentle art of verbal self-defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Understanding the Secret behind our Purchases

What is it you are really looking for?

What is it that you crave when you feel compelled to make a purchase? Many times when we hear the voice of a product calling our name, it is really an internal feeling we are looking to satisfy.

You might notice that some products you purchase because of their beauty, the confidence they might give you, the significance or recognition you are looking for. When you go shopping, what are you attracted to? What does this product symbolize to you? What is it that makes you feel good about your purchase?

It is a well-known fact that shoe sales rise when the economy takes a bad turn. We all can tend to live beyond our means sometimes and then often notice the guilt that follows.
We also have a need for comfort, love and significance. Especially if you feel a lack of any of those needs, you unconsciously look to fill it with a purchase. Luxury purchases are created to give us the feeling of recognition and accomplishment. The product however will only make you feel better temporarily, in order to make the satisfaction, real changes are necessary!

If you know the emotions you are looking for, you know what you crave. It rarely is the product you are after, but the resulted feeling inside of you. What is it you are craving? What is the change you need? What do you really want in your life, that might be missing? Knowing this will give you power and control to make your own choices and satisfy any needs you have!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Quick Time Management Exercise

Here is a helpful exercise for you to understand which activities cost you time but don't benefit your day:

Take a paper and write down - what are the activities you use to escape from your workday? Is it reading, internet surfing, tv or something else? We all use different activities to escape our day when we feel overwhelmed. What is it for you?

Make a list and take the time to discover what you use to disconnect from stress. Then write down how many hours you spend every day on each of the activities. 

Often we try to disconnect or escape and don't realize how much time actually gets lost.
Whenever you get overwhelmed or uncomfortable, there is a chance you find yourself looking for ways to get distracted. Understanding this about yourself is important when it comes to saving time for the things that are really important to you.

When do you notice you want to escape? Which are the tasks that overwhelm you?

In order to maximize your time and increase your Work-Life Balance, it is helpful to know what you are uncomfortable with, where you find yourself procrastinating and what it is you do to escape.