Friday, November 30, 2012

How to create an effective Dialog with desired Outcome

In order to have an effective Conversation and achieve what the so called “Feedback Loop” where Communication flows, it is necessary to have the right mindset. Luckily that mindset only takes little practice and anyone can achieve it.

If you want the conversation to flow and stay constructive, both parties need to assume that what the other one says is right and ask themselves what it could be right of. When I explain to an audience I often get replies such as "I just assume they are right??" or "No matter if I know the person well or not?".  The answer is yes, in order to have free flowing communication with mutual respect, it is necessary to assume the truth in order to establish the trust. Humans a trained to read facial expressions as part of our exchange and if you are feeling judgmental, chances are the other individual is perceiving it.

What has been showing in Western Culture is that most conversations turn negative, controversial or skeptic, because each side assumes what the other one is saying is wrong and is wondering what it could be wrong of. You might have observed similar mindsets in relationship arguments, office disputes or family fights.

What assumptions do you have in conversations? Do you assume what the other person is saying is true or false?

Turn your awareness on and catch yourself if you are in a judgmental mindset, it might just cost you the outcome you desired.

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If you would like to learn more about Feedback Loops and better Communication, I also recommend the classic "The gentle art of verbal self-defense" by Suzette Haden Elgin.

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