Friday, June 22, 2012

Words that become our Filter in Life

Did you know we speak on average between 7 000 and 20 000 each day, which doesn’t even count all the thousands of additional words we are thinking? 

With so many spoken words, most of us don’t pay attention to the way we communicate, the words we choose and the messages we get across. Speaking comes so natural that it's easy to forget your awareness and loose yourself in communication with friends and family. For every situation there are possibly hundreds of ways to describe it, and there are distinct reasons for why you choose to describe it your way. How you tell others about a situation shows what your focus is own and which emotions you live with. If you want to change the way you feel and think, the first things you need to be aware of are the words that leave your mouth.

The most important words that leave your mouth are the words I like to call spinal words. Those are words that describe the way you live your life and the words that become your outlook in life and your filter to any situation. There is a simple and easy way to detect your spinal words: Whichever phrases you use at least 3  times a week make up your outlook on life. For example: You probably know someone who describes each situation with : “It’s not easy...” or “Its difficult for me..”, “I know it’s stupid but”. Of course it unreasonable to think everything could be easy, however it is just as unreasonable to think everything must be difficult. Even though we speak thousands of words a day, there is very little variety in the words a person uses. You might notice that of the thousands of thoughts you think every day, 90% of them stay the same each day. This is the biggest obstacle to change because as long as you think the same way, you will live the same way too.

Depending on their experiences and fears, people's words reflect their inner world. Just like habits, spinal words reflect the backbone of your life - how strong we think we are, how easy you think things come for you and where you see yourself struggling. Try it out and observe the people that are talking to you - which words do they frequently use to describe situations? Where do they pause because of something feeling slightly emotional?
Use eyes and ears to understand others and yourself - because the words we use describe the world we live in. Our way of giving words to thoughts materializes feelings and gives them a meaning we choose to live with.

How do you describe the situations in your life? Which phrases do you use many times - possibly without thinking?

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