Monday, April 9, 2012

A quick guide to positive self-evaluation

Many people don’t realize that we go through the day asking ourselves one question after another.

In many ways our self-talk is a constant evaluation where a question goes to our brain and our brain looks for the most logical answer. Examples for questions are: “Why does this always happen to me?”, "Why does she/he think they can talk to me like that?"

This way of constantly evaluating also determines what beliefs we will have. By asking ourselves the right kind of questions, our focus shifts and our brain will give us constructive ideas on how to deal with an issue.
 Asking ourselves the wrong kind of questions leaves our brain searching for justifications for our unhappy situation. An example would be: “Why does this always happen to me?” Since our brain is not independent enough to tell us “It doesn’t always happen”, it will instead look for a reason like “Because you’re incapable to make right decisions”, “because everyone’s out to get you”.

 Instead try asking yourself questions that will enable you to find solutions. Instead of asking yourself, why this happens to you, ask yourself what you could do to find a better way of dealing with a situation. Ask yourself questions directed toward finding solutions, because inevitably your brain will look for an answer as soon as you ask the question.

Thoughtleaders have the ability to ask the right questions and constantly wonder how they can become better, more courageous, more successful or more efficient in their life.

We are powerful beings in that we have the capability to solve problems, find specific answers to questions and use our brain to look into solutions to a big range of problems. The questions you ask yourself determine where you focus that resource. By being constructive you will find many solutions and establish beliefs that you can solve your own problems. Being negative and asking yourself destructive questions will lead you to believe that you are your problems and justify all the reasons you are unsuccessful which in turn will destroy your motivation to change.

Here are questions that immediately start looking for a better focus, instilling a more positive outlook:
 - What can I appreciate about this situation?
 - What would I have to believe to feel this way right now?
 - What can I do to make the best out of the situation?
 - How can I be more successful?
 - In which ways can I be a better person, parent, employee, employer ?

Whatever questions you ask will determine your world. Change the questions you ask, change the way you feel.

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