Saturday, May 12, 2012

5 Quick and Easy Ways improve your Relationships

The friends of mine who are working in the Human Resources industry often point out in discussion that people skills are the most crucial strengths to any competent person. 
The ability to create and improve relationships is invaluable to life, since 95% of your personal well-being is created through other people. 
Maintaining and improving relationships to our family and work-related area of life is not always easy. Every individual has a different map of the world  and often expectations are colliding and we find ourselves incapable of behaving constructively.
We cannot change the behavior of the people around us, but we can change ourselves. Through taking and learning the following tips, you can quickly and easily become capable of taking charge of the improvement in your own relationships.

Here are 5 Ways to change your relationships to the better so that you can create well-being, appreciation and happiness in yourself and the people around you:

1) Understand their map of the world: Most difficulties in relationships come from assumptions. We assume we know how the other one thinks, feels or acts because of our own assumptions. However, for every behavior there is a history and background in which the behavior is appropriate. You just need to understand the background in order to understand and appreciate the behavior. Stop making assumptions and start understanding where other people are coming from. When you in discussions with other people, be aware of where this person is coming from and how their input has value.

2) Refrain from using the word “but”: “But” is a very rude word to use in discussions. If you use the word “but”, you are talking over every information the other person provided. “But” deletes any sentence before hand and makes other people feel unheard, disrespected and unappreciated. “But” is also heavily used for excuses to defenses. Be aware: “However” is just a more polite version of the word “but”.

3) Show appreciation: In order to show others that you care about their input and value, it is necessary that you consistently show appreciation through positive remarks. Those remarks will not be used for performance evaluation. When you positively remark on something, don’t continue discussing downfalls. Appreciation should be shown as a stand-alone compliment which can be presented in form of words, quick post-it note, email or text. This is one thing every person in this world has in common: Everyone would like to be respected and appreciated - doing so will greatly improve the quality of relationships and show that you are aware of the value other people have.

4) Only share negative Feedback in private: Be very considerate of other people. When you share negative Feedback or recommendations for better behavior, do so in a private setting and be sure to check in with your own intentions. Your own intentions should be sincere, honest and positive as supposed to vengeful or negative. If your intention is to make a point, you will be incapable of reaching the other person with your Feedback.

5) Improve your Self-Esteem: Improving your self-esteem is the surest way to improve your relationships. If you are unhappy with yourself, any of your relationships will suffer - guaranteed. You will be likely to show more cynicism, critique, fear and hopelessness. On the contrary if you work to improve your Self-Esteem, you will become more flexible, patient, resilient and generous. Your Self-Esteem is in direct relation to the quality of your relationships. Do whatever you need in terms of investing in yourself, becoming motivated and reaching your goals in order to become more fulfilled and proud of yourself.

Those are 5 quick ways to change your behavior. You can implement any of the suggestions immediately and it will increase the quality of all of your relationships. They say if you need a friend you need to be a friend. Listen, act and appreciate in ways that are honorable and positive. This will show your integrity, your intelligence and your emotional capacity to respect and value others. No matter if you are interested in being a role model, a friend, a partner or an employee -  your actions will always have an effect on how you will be treated in future interactions. Most of us forget to give others the gifts of truly listening and acting respectfully. Fortunately those are easy attitudes to learn and if you commit to do so today, it will change the quality of your life tomorrow.

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