Thursday, May 17, 2012

Secrets to a Happy Marriage

Secrets to a happy Marriage are largely based on what can be called the RAIS formula. These are four Elements that are crucial to any successful Relationship. Our Relationships have the potential to increase our well-being, improve our maturity and sense of growth as well as making our life feel more meaningful. Focus on the following four Elements and you will receive all these benefits and more:



In order to create a happy Marriage you need to be willing to make the relationship your priority and take Responsibility for yourself every day. Responsibility means to commit to be and act your best as well as reflect on your short-comings as you see those happening. Responsibility also means to be honest with yourself if you are not acting as the best partner possible and determine what you need to change.This might sound like work but it actually increases your own awareness of yourself and creates well-being and pride since you feel like you are becoming a better you every day.
When you decide to get married you promise another person you would be there for them, make them a priority and be your best. No matter if it is a good or a bad day, you still need to make good on your commitment to better yourself and act in the best interest of the person you decided to spend your life with.


The second Factor to a happy Marriage is the Appreciation you show your partner. A lot of times we neglect to verbally appreciate because we feel like the other one either already knows, doesn’t take it well or might take it too well. Each of those excuses are highly destructive when it comes to wanting a happy marriage. Appreciation means you verbally thank your partner sincerely and genuinely for positive actions without any snide or negative after remarks. Positive Feedback just like Appreciation needs to be a stand alone comment so that the other person can take it without having to be afraid or cautious of any negativity.
Every person in this world wants to be appreciated for who they are and what they are good at - if you fail to communicate the appreciation, you basically let the other one know that what they do and who they are does not matter.


The third part to creating a happy Marriage is the Factor where you acknowledge that you have tremendous influence over your partner. Each word you speak, every complaint you share or negativity you feel makes a difference in the well-being of your partner.
When you go to a Self-Development Seminar people consistently recommend you to get rid of all the negative people in your life. This is being said because of the tremendous influence our peer group has over us. For this reason you also need to be aware of how negative you are around your partner. If you choose to use your influence and share negativity, critique and harshness, it will result in a low quality of life for all the people in your relationships. Being consistently negative at home borders on selfishness because it means the person neglects the well-being of all the people around him or her. Especially since your marriage is a bond where you rely on each other’s positive, harmonious, constructive influence, it is crucial what you communicate. If you want your marriage to be happy, observe every word that leaves your mouth and make sure that your dialogues have constructive, positive themes.


The fourth and possibly most important Factor to a happy marriage is your Self-Esteem. A happy healthy Self-Esteem makes the Success or Failure of all good relationships. You know yourself that when you feel fear or worry you act differently than when you feel confident and satisfied with yourself. Whatever you might be struggling with in your personal life has a great effect on the quality of your marriage and the happiness of your partner. You need to take care of your own happiness and personal pride in order to have a happy marriage. No matter if it is loosing weight in order to be happy with yourself or achieving the career you really want - it is your responsibility to do what you have to in order to increase your self-esteem.
Since it is your face the other one sees every day, it will always be obvious if that face is distant, worrisome, empty or happy and content. You don’t only owe it to yourself to have greater Self-Esteem and Life Satisfaction, you also owe it to your Partner who decided to spend his or her life in close Proximity to you. Finally, if you have lower Self-Esteem you will feel more easily critical, cynical and negative. On the contrary if you are happy with where your personal life is going, you can bring resilience, stability and strength to your partner and your marriage.

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