Wednesday, May 9, 2012

How to substitute negative Self-talk with positive Self-talk

As we talked about in the post here, Self-talk is one of the most limiting factors in your life.

All day long you have a record playing in your head of phrases you use in order to tell  yourself why you can’t have what you want. We all gather limiting beliefs like possessions over the course of our lifetime and most of those limiting beliefs become sentences we tell ourselves day in and out

Your record of negative Self-talk might have been playing since the last decade, but you become so accustomed to it that it keeps playing even if it’s already old news. Somewhere along the way we learned that we are too young, too old, too damaged, too stupid, too heavy, too naive, to make anything out of ourselves. We all have been told at some point why we can’t have what we want. Even if we don’t truly believe those excuses anymore, the record might still be playing in your head - telling you why you are incapable of materializing any hopes and dreams you’re having. This will always hold you back because our human instinct is to be consistent with our beliefs. If your beliefs and your self-talk is negative, then you will keep yourself from reaching any goals you might be having.

Fortunately you can make the decision now to stop the negative Self-talk. You can get pen and paper and write down what it is that you truthfully believe about yourself and life. Write down the one liner sentences you remember about life, work, relationships and yourself. You will learn what the stories are you’ve been telling yourself and what excuses you’ve been holding on to. What are the consequences to holding on to those beliefs?

Substitute your negative Self-talk with positive Self-talk. Words have such power that when you start telling yourself positive beliefs in an emotional way, you will feel and live in a more positive way, consistent with what you are telling yourself. Tell yourself that you are strong, confident, competent, positive, relaxed, successful - whatever the traits are that you want for yourself. Even if you have to pretend in the beginning - if you pretend and link emotion to the way you want to feel, you will inevitable get to the state of mind you need. Your brain cannot differentiate between reality or simulation, which is why memories make you feel emotional even if the situation is years away. You have been telling yourself many negative stories so far - none of which were actually reality. So start building up positive, empowering one liners about yourself and your capabilities. Take out pen and paper and write down one liners about who you want to be, writing in a way as if you are already there: “I am getting stronger every day.” “I am living consistent with my purpose and make a difference for the people around me”, “I love my life because I have people around me that I love and who love me”. Make up whatever it is that feels the most powerful to you, something that would get you excited. Tell it to yourself when you wake up and when you go to bed. It will change the way you feel, behave and the way you see yourself.

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